The Foureva Podcast
The Foureva Podcast is where real stories, bold ideas, and honest conversations create real opportunities.
Hosted by entrepreneur, author, and international speaker Jamar Jones, each episode goes beyond the highlight reel to uncover the decisions, setbacks, lessons, and relationships that shape successful entrepreneurs, founders, and leaders.
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The Foureva Podcast
S3 Ep2 The Darkside To Success | ft. Vance Barse
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What happens when success on the outside doesn't match what's happening underneath?
Jamar Jones sits down with wealth management expert and entrepreneur Vance Barse for an unexpectedly personal conversation about money, sobriety, childhood trauma, fatherhood, entrepreneurship, and the hidden pressure behind success.
Vance shares how growing up with financial insecurity and never meeting his biological father shaped his drive to overachieve — and how a decade of partying eventually led him to make the life-changing decision to get sober.
He also takes Jamar inside a side of entrepreneurship few people openly discuss: successful business owners who appear to have everything while privately facing financial pressure, maxed-out credit, and uncertainty about making payroll. As Vance puts it, people see the tip of the iceberg — but the struggle is real.
The conversation becomes even more personal as Vance shares the story of receiving his late biological father's Harley, riding it across the country, finding forgiveness, building his firm, and ultimately realizing that his greatest accomplishment isn't financial at all — it's becoming the father he never had.
Disclaimer: This content is for educational and informational purposes only and does not constitute financial,
investment, tax, or legal advice. No results are guaranteed. Please consult a qualified professional before making financial decisions.
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A Father Figure And Inner Happiness
SPEAKER_02Being a biological father that I never had. Happiness is an inside job. Dude, in three months, we're not going to have enough money to make payroll.
Meet Vance And His Fiduciary Work
SPEAKER_00We have a treat for you all, an amazing human being. We got Vance Barst as a guest in the Forever podcast. He is incredible. What you guys are about to listen to is one of the most moving podcasts that we've done. His story about his dad, how he grew his business, what he had to go through in his personal life to get there and beyond. I mean, the stuff that you guys are going to be learning about is going to be so deep, but also so impactful, as we also have a lot of really good laughs. So he's the founder of your dedicated fiduciary. He's been doing it for 11 years. It's a fiduciary first wealth management and financial planning firm that serves high net worth families, executives, entrepreneurs, and business owners across the U.S. And he does this by coordinating advanced planning across investments, tax strategy, estate planning, business transactions, philanthropy, and legacy planning. And the reason why I like Vance is that he translates sophisticated financial decisions into clear human conversations, which he talks a lot about in the pod, and explains the why behind the recommendations. This is going to be totally different than what anything that you've ever heard from somebody in the wealth management or the financial planning space, because Vance is a one-of-one, an absolute one of one. So he has been, man, he's done a lot of stuff, but he's a financial commentator and contributor featured by CNBC, Bloomberg, Fox Five, also Market Watch, Barron's Penta, and Wealthmanagement.com and other national outlets. So he's been all over. He speaks, he is all over the place with an incredible message, incredible human being. We got Vance Barce. Guys, you don't want to go anywhere. Let's hop straight into it. What is going on? Vance is in the building. How are you doing, man? How you feeling today?
SPEAKER_02Any better would be a sin. Happy Taco Tuesday, Jamar. It's great to be here.
SPEAKER_00Oh man. Dude, we were having a blast behind the scenes, by the way, everybody. Vance is uh he's gonna be a treat. He's gonna be a treat here on the podcast. Um, dude, where uh first of all, how long have you been in business for?
SPEAKER_0211 years in my current role. I started a firm that does advanced uh financial tax estate and other type of wealth management planning, and that was after a decade of consulting leading financial advisors around the US. So uh 11 years super fun, I love it.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I I noticed so looking at your uh your LinkedIn, right? You've got a couple posts that have gone nuclear uh recently, like in the past probably like month or so. Um, and really they're going deep into your story, right? Of who you are, um, your background, which not a lot of people in the finance world do. Uh a lot of that is sheltered because you gotta, you know, a lot of it's putting on a certain facade. Also, you you know, a mask up uh to attract certain clients, you know, you want to make sure you're on the up and up, but your stuff, you are open to share it all. Um, which honestly is probably to your benefit because those posts went crazy. Um, why why is that important to you to just be real, authentic, be yourself, and share a little bit of the background?
Why Authenticity Wins In Finance
SPEAKER_02Because life is meant to be lived, right? And having spent thousands of hours inside of the wealth management industry for 10 years before I founded my firm. It's it's the wet, soggy, two by four personality, right? It's the cookie cutter approach to whatever. And it's like people are complex, they have remarkable stories, they they have had all types of intricacies happen to them. What was their childhood like? What are their fears? Uh, what are they most proud of? And that human experience, Jamar, is something that is absolutely irreplaceable. And so when I when I meet with people, I want to understand, and it doesn't matter, by the way, whether it's a bozo on the bus or a billionaire in a bently. It's like people are people, I want to know their story, I want to know what makes them tick, what they're passionate about, and it's super fun, man.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, it's good though, it's a way to connect, um, which is it's just different from from your world. I've been I've interviewed and worked with tons and tons of people, all different industries. Um, and it just time and time again, if you can connect on a human level, it just wins every time. Every single time. Absolutely.
Sobriety And The Hidden Cost Of Success
SPEAKER_00You're you're super open about your story of sobriety. Um and that's one of the posts that went crazy for you.
SPEAKER_01Um what has that journey been like for you? How much time you got?
SPEAKER_02Kick out uh Paragamos, you know, you got a cigar five, like, you know.
SPEAKER_00Uh I should have sent you a cigar, man.
SPEAKER_02Believe me, I'm well provisioned, right? Um it's such an interesting question that you ask because people who have absolutely no idea what the journey of sobriety is like, or if they have a family member that was repeatedly incapable of achieving sobriety, or multiple arrests, or multiple jail convictions, or God forbid, theft, or whatever, they don't understand. And I don't share about my sobriety because it's virtue signaling or anything. Like when you have trauma in your life, particularly in childhood, or when you have multi-generational patterns of alcoholism, dysfunction, whatever. So many of us in society, particularly the business owners, like there's a reason that they achieve certain levels of success, deeply rooted fear of financial insecurity, right? So I can now share with clients, I was very poor for much of my childhood, like the conflict between my parents over money. And I always thought to my like, you know, if only I had money. And I had this idea in my teenage years that I'll just be a neurosurgeon. Why not? And I have sitting on my shelf a picture of Ben Carson and me. Uh, I met in my senior year at school. And, you know, when you meet with these entrepreneurs that are wildly successful, I'm not in that bucket. But when you meet with them, founders of these huge organizations, and they're literally the epitome of American success. So many of them, with whom I have spoken, Jamar, have sobriety as part of their story. Why is that? It's because the trauma that they went through in their childhood and the things that they later realized about themselves drove them to overachieve in so many aspects. It's almost like the story of the Phoenix, right? You want to get closer and closer to the sun to bask in the light. But the odd irony of it is that the closer you get to the sun, the bigger your shadow. And so I can joke about it now. It's like in my former career of consulting, teaching, and I jokingly say babysitting financial advisors all around the country. What did I do? I educated during the day and I entertained at night. And there was a lot of entertaining. And I spent a solid decade of partying. And you know, I look back on that. I was 60 pounds overweight. I was on blood pressure medication. There was a lot that was wrong, but I thought I I literally thought I had life by the tail feather, man.
SPEAKER_00And you looked in like totally different than what you do today. I saw that before and after picture. I mean, it's night and day.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Well, I know I gotta share something with you. And I don't generally talk about this on air. In fact, I've only ever done it once. I never met my real dad.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And I talked to him a couple of times on the phone, but the abandonment issues and the anxious attachment and the hypervigilance that came not only from that Jamar, but also growing up in the particular household that I did. And there's been a lot of improvement in that area, right? Like there's been a lot of healing within the sort of neo-local family. With that as a backdrop, it's no surprise that between the fear of financial insecurity and wanting to prove that I was actually worth something because Jamar, the one thing that was actually not my fault was my dad leaving, right? Was my dad abandoned? Right. But what do we do? We take that as such a childhood wound that we're like, there has to be something wrong with me. So, what do we do in the solipsism of youth? We overachieve, we work very hard at trying to be perfect. And in that pursuit of perfection, there was a lot of um alcohol and a lot of partying and a lot of fun. And after a solid decade of that, with 60 pounds of extra weight and high blood pressure, I finally hit the point where I was like, this is this is not working, this is not healthy. I have to change because if I don't change, it's this is just simply unsustainable. And so uh I put the plug in the jug and decided to get sober, and it was absolutely unequivocally the best possible decision I could have ever made.
SPEAKER_00And what I love about this conversation, especially for all our entrepreneurs listening, it is so normalized for that entertainment party life, especially after you I mean, as an entrepreneur, you're working so hard, right? Um, every day, you're putting in that in that effort. Um, and a lot of times to win over clients, there is a lot of wine and dine um you know, where you want to get on a deeper level with people, and to do that usually happens after five. Usually. Um, and so you want to build a deep rapport, but it's very normalized, right? Even if you go to a conference, right? Usually, I mean, the conference will even give you the experience after five, right? Of being like, hey, go out here, we got this DJ coming in, we got this going happen, right? It's it's literally normalized. Um, and you took a different route because you wanted better for yourself, which I think a lot of people here can learn from, um, or at least as a reality check for people.
SPEAKER_02Uh yeah, yeah. I want to share something. I I know two billionaires, and I say that with utmost humility. It's not, you know, all I know are these two people, they're very well-known people. And what's so fascinating to me is that they share their story of sobriety. And it happens a lot in finance. There are a lot of people who booze a lot. And I've had so many people over the years tomorrow. When I've like, I put on Twitter, I put on LinkedIn, hey, I'm at five years sobriety, hey, I'm at 10 years sobriety. And it's fascinating the number of people who have reached out in DMs, hey, can I get your number? Want to talk to you about something? They call me, they break down, they're absolutely at their wits' end. They're like, I can't stop, I need help. What do I do? And I'm like, you know what? I know that feeling, and you're not alone. And anything you tell me, absolutely anything that you tell me, will be held in the strictest of confidence between the two of us. And it's it's like, unless you hit that rock bottom, Jamar, people just don't understand, or they judge you.
SPEAKER_00Yes. In which we live in a world where there's a lot of judgment, a lot of judging. Uh yeah, and that's crazy. So there's people, a lot of people in the shadows, man. That's what that says. A lot of people are in the shadows, and you are essentially a voice, right? Because you're at least you have something within yourself that you're good with, right? You're good with enough to say, hey, I don't care about the judgment. I'm here to share my story, my message. Right. This is this is what I I experience, and other people are resonating with that, which is incredible, man. Just to lift people up. Um it's fantastic. So I I think that people will definitely learn a lot from that from this episode. Um, we want to get into the first the first segment here uh called the breakdown. Okay.
Biggest Win Is Becoming A Dad
SPEAKER_00So I'm gonna ask you, we're gonna really break down something behind the scenes uh that has my attorneys present for this. You share what you can, because I know you know we're sharing everything, but we need a little insight, man. We need a little insight. Um I want you to take us behind the scenes of the business, right? Uh what is walk through one of your really big wins. But what I want you to do is talk about what were the challenges, what are the ups and downs. What were the was there a point where it wasn't going to happen? Right? I walk us through a little bit of the behind the scenes because too many people talk about the wins, but not many people break down what actually happened. Um, and this could be I I've I've asked this question to a lot of people, so it could be a lot of different things. People have gone personnel in their business, they've gone uh big client wins, they've gone personal, you know, ups and downs, just as a just as a founder or an entrepreneur, right? Um, making some bad calls, but or took a risk and it turned into something. But if it didn't happen that way, it could have been really bad. So walk us through one of those successes and uh give us the breakdown.
SPEAKER_01Oh, I might break the typical answer protocol here, and I will tell you without question, the absolute best win that I had, my bro, is being a dad. It is the most rewarding experience I've had my two kids. Bigger than anything, like bigger than life itself. And I I don't mean to get emotional, but uh it just is what it is, you know?
SPEAKER_02And uh it's so funny. Like, I I'm an entrepreneurs organization at EO, and I hang out with a lot of business owners. Yep, and so many of them talk about my business is doing five million EBITDA, my business is doing 50 million EBITDA, and like that's amazing. But let me ask you something, Jamar. Do you remember what your great-grandfather did for a living? I don't. No one ever does, and that's the point in three generations, three, or as my seven-year-old daughter would say, this many. Um, like people don't know what their great-grandparents did. I've asked this at large audience presentations. You can take all the money, you can take the nice car or cars, you can take the huge house. Three generations, none of that matters, right?
SPEAKER_01But the time that we have here with our loved ones, and in my case, my kids, like it's uh it's just irreplaceable, right?
SPEAKER_02So, like, what's a big win? Um, on the business side, uh a client that fits our ideal client avatar, but like what's the win that really matters, man? It's being a phenomenal dad and parent to my kids, which again is not virtue signaling, but I look at the family in which I grew up and what that environment was like. They don't have that now. And I've had the opportunity to stop multi-generational issues, if you will, and patterns. And there's nothing more important to me in the world than than the relationship that I have with my kids and teaching them things like healthy attachment and healthy individualization and having wonderful relationships with the kids in the neighborhood. Like my house is literally the fun house in the neighborhood. It's like the kids each, right? It's like like there are three of the neighbor kids that more or less live here. Like the parents have said, are you gonna deduct them on the taxes this year? Because like y'all are making food over there and like they're there all the time. And like, yeah, and like I I don't I don't want viewers to think that this was just an opportunity to air emotionality because like you ask a phenomenal question, what's a big win?
Grief And Leaving Everything Behind
SPEAKER_02And you know, at the end of my prior career, um, I decided to resign for a very short period. I was a partner at a firm, uh about five months. And I joined that firm, and it was it was on paper amazing, but I was not in a good place in my life at all. And I had a lot of unresolved uh things that that really begged attention. And so, what did I do? My grandmother had this massive stroke, and in the preceding 18 months, Jamar, I had five family members die, three of whom were very close, one of whom was my biological dad, who again I never met in person. We were supposed to meet twice. The man didn't show. And the the emotional weight and psychological gravity of that 18-month window was pretty massive. And so when my grandmother had her stroke, uh, I decided that I would quit and I left Tampa, Florida, and I moved to of all places West by God, Virginia.
SPEAKER_03Like I can hear the baby joke now, but I'm binging boom bing boom bing boom bing. I saw that too in the in your bio, like, West Virginia.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, like I could joke about it now, but like normally people are like, hey, I heard you're from West Virginia, like that will be our secret. That is not to leave this room, right? Because people just look down their judgmental noses at you. But in any event, yeah, um, I moved to West Virginia, moved into her house. She was in a nursing home. Her daughter, who's my aunt Val, had had lost a long six-year battle with uh uh what's thought of as breast cancer. And my beloved mentor, my grandfather Dave, who was uh my grandma's husband, had also transitioned. And so that was an opportunity in West Virginia to basically reach out to the widow of my biological father. He's in a motorcycle club. Uh, I had at the time ridden Harleys for years. And I mean, I literally I went from my prior career clean cut, looking like this, to I had a massive beard that I had the ability to braid, really long hair down to almost my waistline.
Riding His Father’s Harley To Heal
SPEAKER_02And I just checked out of reality, man. Like I went and I met with Lisa, is her name, uh, the widow of my biological father, and she and the club ceremoniously gave me my biological father's Harley. And what did I find myself doing? And just a few short months thereafter. My grandmother, who was in the nursing home, died. And I got on a Harley that was owned by my biological father, who I had never met. I'm wearing his actual Harley jacket, and I rode that Harley around the country for about a year, man, and it was absolutely the most liberating, freeing, spiritually uplifting, cathartic experience that I could possibly have. Because all the daddy issues that accumulated for years, I was literally in it, just sitting in trying to identify with this man who was six foot five and 300 pounds that I metaphorically carried on my back. And it was somewhere between Sturgis and Denver when I'm cruising along, cigar in my mouth, riding along, listening to Z Z Top. And I'm like, you know what? I spent about a decade consulting financial advisors and wealth management firms. I know what so many of them don't do. Maybe I can start a firm to do the things that most of them don't. And that is how my firm was born. But that whole experience, to loop it back to your great question, what is your biggest win?
SPEAKER_01Without question, try not to get emotional here, yeah, is being the biological father that I never had.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, that is incredible, man. And I know a lot of people can resonate to that. I mean the one thing I like about you and what you're sharing with everybody is you can have great wins in business, but it's deeper than that. And at the end of the day, we're all human beings, man. We're we just want to have some impact in this world, especially a lot of us that have a business. We're trying to put some positive change in the world, right, while we're here. Um and you are taking it on not just the business side, but also what are you personally contributing? Right? Because you can lose yourself in this easily. Um, I know I've done it multiple times. Lost myself, right? In the pursuit of what? Right? In the pursuit of More money, more clients, more acknowledgement, right?
Wealth Planning As Family Unity
SPEAKER_02That's the thing. It's like, how much, literally, how much is enough? You know, is is this six and a half thousand square feet and the Ferrari and the trips and the whatever million dollars? Is that enough? And the answer is happiness is an inside job, it's not a destination. And when I meet with uh the you know clients of ours, and there's no real separation between church and state, I get to know what are the family dynamics, what is the overall uh goal of the business? How do we take the tax world, the investment world, the estate planning world, and all of the human aspect of this family and put it together in a nice pretty box with a nice pretty bow so that the family can use the business andor wealth or both, and often it's real estate, to serve as the source of family unity versus what happens so much of the time, which is the disunion or infighting between family members. Like life is meant to be lived, and so yeah, I'm very open. Uh, I've been told that I often wear my heart on my sleeve, and in a good way, that can be leveraged with business owners that I meet.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, 100%, man. Dude, you're you're definitely gonna help some people out today, man. Because I I everybody I talk with usually it'll start on something business, but you know, it's deeper than that, right? It's 100% deeper than that. We're gonna go into the next uh segment, which is the forever fast
Rapid Fire Beliefs About Success
SPEAKER_00four. So it's just rapid fire questions. Uh, so four questions. Um, want to get your just your your insight, your take on these. All right, hold on a second.
SPEAKER_02Okay, lamb on me, boss.
SPEAKER_00Let's get it, man. Uh, what's one belief about success or wealth you have completely changed?
SPEAKER_01Money won't make you happy.
SPEAKER_02Won't make you happy. It's convenient to have, and it's an uh a tool to affect outcomes, right? Yeah, like believe me, you'd rather have money and be miserable than have no money and be miserable. But like having fiat currency and stuff will not bring fulfillment.
SPEAKER_00What is one responsibility you would never fully outsource?
SPEAKER_01That is such an excellent looking question.
SPEAKER_02Um, it is it is uh can we break for uh you know an announcement or advertisement? Here's Bob with the weather.
SPEAKER_00Whoa, sorry to interrupt, but we got a word from our sponsor. At Forever Media, we have an ecosystem to monetize your brand position and have you become unforgettable. We combine coaching transformative experiences around the country with PR and media to help you get BIC and seven figures in your business and skyrocket your credibility with help over 2500. We have six figures of multiple seven figures with a friend at lab. Your one decision a way of changing your life. Visit www.forevermedia.com to learn more and book a complimentary call. At Forever Media, we make big dreams possible. Now let's get back into the conversation.
SPEAKER_03Make them laugh, make them laugh.
SPEAKER_02One thing that I will never outsource is the foundational mutual alignment of interests that I have with the humans in my life, which comprise both personal and professional uh relationships. And and often there's like I said before, there's no separation of church and state. Ultimately, I'm in the business of being personal, right? Money's the tool, but the human experience is what we're here to maximize and enrich. And I look at these huge firms, you know, 18 bajillion assets under management and all that. And that's not what makes me tick. What makes me thrive as a practitioner and a human is having that very special human-to-human bond.
SPEAKER_00Beautifully said. The commercial break did help you. Next one is what's the most expensive lesson that you've learned in money, business, or life?
SPEAKER_01Love, true love, absolute true love, is not what is presented in Hollywood.
SPEAKER_02True love is selfless, true love is calm. True love is compassionate, and true love is when when two people can come together and understand what they need to do for and with each other to allow that relationship to fully thrive. And you know, you you you watch the Hollywood movies, and true love is really portrayed as what is called love bombing, right?
SPEAKER_04You're my stolen, you're my twin flame, you're my rider die. If you hear those terms, run, run for, go, stay gone, right?
SPEAKER_02Like it's it's just one of the things that life has taught me.
SPEAKER_00Uh last question uh for this segment is finish the sentence.
SPEAKER_01Success isn't success isn't.
SPEAKER_02Um success isn't a destination, success is the journey along the way. Perfect.
SPEAKER_01I want to share something if I can.
The Payroll Panic Behind Big Brands
SPEAKER_02So I spend time with a lot of entrepreneurs, and some of them on real estate. They're in the business of real estate. Okay, yep. It's fascinating to me. I mean, truly fascinating, Jamar. When when I will meet with people in business forums where it's NDA level confidentiality, and from the outside, you look at the car they roll up in, you look at the office building, you look at all that, and they're like, dude, in three months, we're not gonna have enough money to make payroll. You're like, this is why this is so real. What are you talking about? They're like, we're hitting lines of credit, like the Fed raised rates and things are tight. And like we realize now that we built our entire business model on 0% Fed funds rate, right? And now the the Fed funds, I don't even need to go down the monetary policy rabbit hole, but they realize that that foundationally the things that they thought they knew to be true have in fact been tested, and so they're having to pivot. And a lot of that responsibility is on the owners, and they're going, man, like like we're really in a bind. Or the flip side is two years ago, like I was literally tapped out, credit to the max, and we finally turned it around and made it happen. It's like people only see the tip of the iceberg, but the struggle, man, is real, dude.
SPEAKER_00And so I feel like that struggle is not talked about enough. Um and I know why, just from a business perspective. Um, you don't want to air out all your dirty laundry, right? Especially if you want to get more clients or get more uh just just get more customers or whatever, whatever your thing is, uh, right? Get more assets. But the but that needs to be talked about because social media especially is is a highlight reel. And we're only seeing the highlights, which then the kids growing up are only seeing highlights, right? And they think they think that's normal. And then we get into the whole discussion around once they get any kind of adversity in their life, and they're like, oh my god, this is not the way it's supposed to be, you know, I'm just supposed to win, right? Um, and then they feel self, you know, the self-worth isn't there. Um, and this is this is like a constant just churn that happens. Um this is not part of uh this is something just through this conversation that I I gotta ask you, how do we share that struggle more? Um because I know behind the scenes, like I'm getting in conversation too. We've helped some amazing people through their personal brands build their businesses. Um, and I I'm shocked. Like, I there's millions of followers, and then you look behind the scenes and it's a hot mess. I mean, I'm like, holy crap, like, how how are you not monetizing this? Like, I don't I don't understand why you're struggling so much, but it's crazy. So, but but on the outside, they look like a superstar. So, what how do we normalize that struggle and humanize business a little more?
Normalising The Struggle And Building A Brand
SPEAKER_02That is such a wonderful issue to bring up, man. Truly, we normalize it by talking about it. Like, uh, we're sitting here on air recording, and I got emotional earlier, right? Like, yeah, that's not an easy thing for people to do 10, 11 years ago. I would not have been able to do that. And like, I have no shame in it, I have no embarrassment in it. I'm a human going through the human experience. Parenthood can be really hard, owning a business can be really hard. Relationships have different chapters, marriages can be really hard. Like, life is hard. Knock knock, who's there? Life, like for real. So important, particularly when you have really influential and well-known business owners or leaders and so forth. And you do see this on some occasional viral videos that are floating around on social media, they will share a heartfelt moment, they will share a struggle, and it's in the viewers connect with those people because you're like, wait a minute, I thought that this really well-known business owner is just flying around in his or her private jet and they got all life together. And then you get a different perspective, and you're like, they're a human just like me. They have many of the same struggles just like me. And the more people talk about it, the more normalized it can be. And it's not to air dirty laundry and it's not to be virtuous, it's simply to let people know we're all humans going through the human experience. And as we develop our own personal brands, the idiosyncratic things through which we have been through and that have happened to us, and how we handled them, and I'll get to that here in just a second. That is what defines our personal brand. Because at the end of the day, Jamar, there are only two things that we can control. The first is our attitude, and the second are our actions. Literally, all else in life is electrons.
SPEAKER_00Oh my god. So well said, man. So well said. Um, I want to go into the next segment.
Dinner Table Mentors And Hard Questions
SPEAKER_00Uh, it's called Build Your Circle. So basically, if you had a dinner table, dead or alive, who's who's there? Who's at your dinner table?
SPEAKER_01Oh, this is such a great question.
SPEAKER_00And also, I want to know a little, just give us a quick snapshot on just what they represent, like what they mean to you, or what that person may mean to you, and what's your what are you gonna ask them, man? Like, what what's that conversation gonna be like?
SPEAKER_01Uh Abraham Lincoln, oh that's good, dude. Abraham Burton.
SPEAKER_00Oh my god. I just man, I've been on this whole Abraham Lincoln uh just learning about history, right? American history. Yeah, I've been going to museums and I've been going down this whole thing, man. And I first of all, perspective. I don't want to steal the spotlight from you, but perspective of life. Go to a museum and get humbled quick, right? If you're entitled, you got ego, you got all that other stuff, go to a museum, and I'm telling you right now, you'll be humbled really, really quick. Um, and so I'm just learning about how in the world we got here, man. Um, and I we are in a great time right now, um, considering all things considered, right? Um, because man, back in the day, rough, rough. So Abraham Lincoln is a is a great pick. I I I probably would second that.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I just think it's important for me to share that uh my grandparents were part of the silent generation. They saw a lot of chapters in this nation's history, and it's funny, I never even talk about this. And they raised me, as did my parents, I might add, but my my mom and my adopted dad, who did a wonderful thing and adopted me, man. And I'm I'm very appreciative of the man. So they raised me and they said, Vance, all people are equal. Everybody. We have been around the world, they traveled on a budget, uh, they were able to scrape money together and go to all kinds of different parts of the world. And they're like, Vance, there are many paths to the top of any mountain. And we just want you to know that no matter what you see, no matter what you hear, all humans, as you grow up from a child into adulthood, all humans are equal. Do you understand? And I do. And I would absolutely love to sit down with Abraham Lincoln and just have a conversation on a number of things, you know. Um I I'm a huge Fed head. I love the Federal Reserve and the monetary policy that it brings. Let me let me clarify that. Um, I love hanging out with Fedheads who study monetary policy as a product of the Federal Reserve. I don't necessarily love the Federal Reserve. I mean, I'm gonna have some Fed heads and economists that I hang out with because you said what? So uh Paul Bolker is a uh former uh Fedhead, if you will, that or sorry, with whom I would love to sit down, smoke a cigar, ask some questions. Um, and you know, for that matter, I really think that Winston Churchill would be a really fun guy to have a cigar with sure, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. It's just super interesting. So that's three. So you got three there. Give me two more. Two more.
SPEAKER_02I have to say, especially given what I shared earlier, I would love to sit down with my biological father.
SPEAKER_01Oh, I can't.
SPEAKER_02I I had a feeling one of those was gonna be there, yeah. And and just remember, we were supposed to meet twice, and I met him posthumously at his grave, and it's so fascinating. Damar, for years as a kid, I remember going, you know, if I don't meet him before he dies, I'm gonna go to his grave and I'm gonna tell him all the things that I feel, and all this anger, and and anger really is fear turned inward, right? It it's it's this outward projection of fear. But I remember going to his grave, I rode on his Harley, wearing his Harley jacket, going to his grave. And man, I stood there and I had a 45-minute one-way conversation, and it was as if this 300-pound weight on my back had been entirely lifted, and none of the things that I thought that I would say in anger were actually said, it was more grace, forgiveness, and understanding. And I grew up a whole hell of a lot that particular moment in time. Um, and you know, this might be a little uh basic, but I would love to meet Christopher Columbus and really understand, like, like for real. Like you part of your story, by the way, bro. I don't buy it all. You discovered America word.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah, I don't know about that, man. That man was going the wrong direction. Yes. Stumbled upon, Atlanta, I think in the Jamaicas, wasn't he? In the Jamaicas, um, is where he kind of stumbled upon. And yeah, so like the fact that he's like this savant that discovered America, I'm like, eh, yeah, like I don't know about that.
SPEAKER_02I got some questions. By the way, on Jamaica, my mom raised me as a huge reggae head. Not only like Bob Marley. I'm talking suits in the mythals, burning spear. Uh, I mean, the real old school roots reggae from Jamaica, which in my industry, looking at me how I'm dressed right now, you would never put Vance and reggae together, but it's playing in the house all the time. My kids know all the classics. It's great.
SPEAKER_00Oh, that's awesome, man. That's awesome. That would that's a crazy table, by the way. And also, what's what I love about this question is also what would be the dialogue between also the other people at the table? I just feel like it'd be super interesting, especially Abraham Lincoln and Christopher Columbus, because Christopher Columbus was kind of a uh he he wasn't really revered as some you know uh trophy example of living your life um back then.
SPEAKER_02Right, right. But like you know, you look at entrepreneurs. What do entrepreneurs do? They take risks and they work hard and they work smart, they adapt, they're malleable, they're ductile, they're you know, they take big risks. And again, what people see on camera here is just the the tip of the iceberg, they don't see all the stuff underneath, and so to get on you know this voyage and just set out in that air, like got some questions for this bro, you know, like yeah, did you bring your antibiotics? Oh wait, uh, did you have Wi-Fi? And what was the password? Oh, swing and a miss. Like, yeah, did you grab uh you know your favorite 12 pack of bub uh like it's just kind of wild, man?
SPEAKER_00Crazy, crazy, crazy. That's a crazy table. Uh absolutely crazy table. A lot of us go into business, right? And we have certain strengths that we're really, really good at, and that's how we've brewed the business. Um but as I especially for me and then other uh businesses that we work with and people that that I know what to be true is you we don't know a lot. We don't know a lot. Um, and and it's always this thing of like these epiphanies that kind of happen as you as you grow and you scale your business. Um all of a sudden you're like, oh man, if I just did it this way, this could save a lot of headache. And I don't know why I did it like this for for six years, seven years, you know, and it's just because you learn a different way. And that typically comes from a new experience. So you meet somebody different, so either you gotta meet somebody different to kind of guide you, like you're saying, like, hey, let's walk through all of it, right? And find what the missed oper missed opportunities are, or you gotta learn the hard way, and then you ask yourself, there's gotta be a better way. And then that's when you start to search, right? There's only one or two ways you're gonna learn life the hard way or the easy way.
SPEAKER_02Um
Peer Circles That Change Everything
SPEAKER_02precisely, and that's one of the things that I love about having both an advanced study group in the wealth management industry of peers who have firms way larger than mine because I can get their perspective, but also in entrepreneurs' organization or EO, which I've been a member of for four or five years now, you know, we we will form a forum, and that forum meets once a month, and you get perspectives of other business owners in ways that like you just can't get, right? You just can't create that level of mentorship and resonance and insight. And so you have this sort of pod of people that you you know like and trust, there's NDA level confidentiality, and you can ask them, hey, when you were at five employees and wanted to go to 50 employees, not that we want to do that, by the way, but what were some of the things that you learned? Or if you want to take the stuff that's split it around in your head and put it out there on the internet to bring awareness and a sales funnel, what are the things that you learned? Or they might ask questions that you know the answers to. It's just we we learn from each other, and it's so true that if you want to change your life, you have to change the quality of the people in your circle.
SPEAKER_00Oh man, 100%. Uh so what we're gonna do. This episode has been incredible, by the way. Um, so we got a next uh uh part just in closing, uh, just called Who's Next? It's just
Who’s Next And How To Reach Vance
SPEAKER_00really quick. Um we like to uh be able to celebrate people. Um and so just a couple good questions. But uh one is like who needs to be on this podcast next? Like, who who do you know? Who who needs their message, their backstory, um some eyeballs on what they're doing?
SPEAKER_02Well, I hope they don't get upset for me saying this, but uh first and foremost, my dear friend and life mentor, Danielle DiMartino. Her book is right here, fed up. Um, and it's interesting. When my son, who's now nine, was born, I uh had a picture taken of me in the hospital with him in this arm and her book in this arm, and we actually met through the internet, which is a fun. Story that we're like to tell people. Um, she nice knows economic and monetary policy. It's it's just she's an amazing human. And also, uh, Jim Bianco of Bianca Research. So these are two people who I read and communicate with, and uh they I think that they would be phenomenal. Now, they don't have like manufacturing businesses, for example, but they're very much in the world of institutional finance and uh fellow Fedheads, and I think the absolute world of both of them.
SPEAKER_00Oh, that's amazing. Uh, who deserves an award?
SPEAKER_02Who deserves an award? You know what? Jamar Jones deserves an award for being an amazing podcast host, having a high degree of empathy, and for allowing me to get on here and talk about my daddy issues.
SPEAKER_00It's all good, man. I'm learning from you too, man. This is uh this has been this has been awesome. Um who has the most polished brand that you know personally? That you look at stuff that they got going on and you're like, dude, that's that's just incredible.
SPEAKER_02Ah, you know what? Ferrari. I mean, I kind of made the joke earlier about it, Ferrari, but like that is a lifestyle, that is a brand. I have clients who have Ferraris, and it it is the experience that you have as a Ferrari owner. It's not necessarily an identity, they sell experience. The car is the thing, but the lifestyle is the value.
SPEAKER_00Uh it's just that is such a good one because I love that they don't like really have commercials, they don't like they they market, but they don't market in a way of like discounting what they do, and like it's just very lifestyle, and you gotta get to a certain point, it's almost like you aspire, right, to obtain what they offer, and they sell at inspiration, which is uh which is incredible. How can people get connected to you, Vance? Like, how can they get connected to you? Um, if they found what you uh what you said inspiring, they may have questions, uh, maybe they just want to get connected and and get on a deeper level and just understand what you got going on. How can they get uh get in touch?
SPEAKER_02Hey, whether it's dad life, parent life, sobriety, or entrepreneurship, just Google Vance Barts. I have my speaker website and then my firm website. We we go by YDF, which is an acronym for your dedicated fiduciary. I've done a ton of financial media. Uh I just Google it or go to LinkedIn. I'm very easily accessible. And man, I really appreciate you having me on. Thank you so much.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, this is this is incredible, man. Um, this is actually better than I even it planned for. Um because you you have such a great story. Thank you uh so much for being on the podcast, guys.
Closing Message And Listener CTA
SPEAKER_00If you like what you heard here today, please like, comment, share, subscribe to all the places that you get podcasts. Uh drop some comments, man. If some stuff inspired you, you have questions, you want to challenge what we said, please drop some comments um in all the places and definitely reach out to Vance. I always say this every single time uh I do a podcast. Everybody I have on here is reachable, okay? So please reach out to them if you have questions. Uh, because don't forget if you can change your circle, you can change your life. Thank you so much, Vance, for being on the pod. And uh everybody will check, we'll catch you next time. Pleasure is mine. Thank you. Wow. Thank you for being a part of our community. Hey, I'm talking to you. Yeah, yeah, you. If you like this one, you're definitely gonna like the next one. And if this conversation, this episode brought you any type of value, don't forget to like, comment, subscribe, and share this with somebody in your circle. Because the right room changes everything. And don't forget, if you can change a circle, you can change your life.
